Positive experience with negative results

Two weeks ago today I tried E for the first time. It was the most beautiful/religous/spiritual experience I have ever encountered.

I am however, very concerned of what it may do to me in the long run. I have already noticed a drastic change in my personality, although I won't say that they are negative changes. It wasn't until my best friend visited that I noticed these changes. We had never been in an argument before, but we didn't get along the whole week-end. He just seemed totally different to me in the sense that I never noticed he was such a nervous person. He would just go off on a partiular subject and would try to get me to argue with him. I would express my disire to just have a good time (it was a Saturday night) and he got very mad because I didn't want to argue. He said things like you can't just float aroung and act like nothing matters.

I guess that is what I have been doing. I don't think that is a good idea, do you? I mean, things, however unpleasant still do matter or don't they? I am so confused and a bit scared. I don't want to lose the "family" I have just been adopted into, but I don't want to become a "slave to the vibe" either. If you could help me, I would be forever greatful to you, and I would owe you in a big way.

Just in case you are wondering, since that Saturday, I have tried other drugs as well, but nothing "hard" such as heroine or cocaine. Two weeks ago as of this hour, I had never tried drugs at all. You now are probobly asking yourself what came up that made me suddently change my idea on the subject being that I am 22 years old and have had plenty of opportunities to try all sorts of things. Well all I can say is that I was touched when a friend of mine, who really didn't know me that well at the time invited me to a Rave. I am/was in the position to really mess up his life as for as his career goes. I felt that he could trust me, I could trust him and give it a shot. I think the fact that I was lonely played a huge part in my desision as well. I wanted to be part of the "family" my friend had told me so much about (on the way to the Rave). I guess that is enough info from me. I wanted to give you enough info that you could use my info in your study if you wanted. If you can help me but still need more info for your study, e-mail me and I will take your advise into consideration and send you whatever info you ask for.

Reply

As far as physical brain damage, provided that you are healthy do not worry if you keep to single, occasional doses taken without other drugs and in a good setting. See my site for more details.

I do think that E tends to change one's perception and values, as does LSD even more, and I can well identify with your situation. I had a friend for many years, and we had a good, jokey one-upmanship type of relationship. Nothing nasty. But, in his eyes, I lost my sense of humour and although I believe I gained warmth in relating to people in general, I could not relate to him so well, and he got very intense and critical and now does not like me. Luckily, though I have other friends who I can relate to even better, and I must admit that most of them have taken E, and so the social result for me was positive overall.

But I can see a real problem, and I think the reason why so many people get trapped into taking more and more E is that they find the old ordinary life unsatisfying without ever developing a new social life.

My advice is not to take it more than about once a month, and to consciously tell yourself that this is an experience to learn from, and afterwards to evaluate what you have learned and how to apply it (or not) to everyday life.

And you could read my book, the new one is better, but the old online version is still useful for background.

Nicholas