How Ecstasy both helped a relationship and made it difficult
The first time I experienced Ecstasy I was in a small group of people.
I was given an IM shot and felt as though I had become golden. As though
my inner vision was enhanced I saw a friend as though she was clear crystal.
Another friend had a shoulder pain and I saw a green ball of light above
his shoulder. With my intention I brought the light into his shoulder and
brought the loving energy into him. The feeling was one of love, closeness
Other times I felt both "contact high"'s and also some fear/excitement/anxiety
so that my body began to shake. I learned several ways to make the experience
easier on me physically. A small quantity of xanax about twenty minutes
before (I never take this, valium or anything else at any other times),
putting on warm socks and dressing warmly because I get very cold, setting
the scene with the right music, etc.
One of the most memorable experiences with Ecstasy occurred when I was sitting
outside (wrapped warmly) and feeling one with the stars and the universe.
Ecstasy was both helpful and difficult for my relationship with my significant
other. He is a physician (hence the mode of giving Ecstasy usually). He
has also experienced many mind altering substances and I have only tried
Ecstasy (and later together with ketamine). I found that we became so intimate
when stoned that when we returned from the experience we often would somehow
create an argument so that we would be more distant - sort of like a yo-yo
effect. In the end I found it so disruptive that we stopped doing the Ecstasy.
I had one experience of it orally a few months ago after many years. This
experience was beautiful and I felt spiritually connected as before.
Above are briefly some of my experiences with Ecstasy. I am writing because
I think that overall the substance has a spiritual benefit when used judiciously.
There would be potential for is use in therapy as I know many have already
demonstrated. A danger is for someone with insufficient ego structures or
a tendency to merge with another spiritually to "lose" themselves.
I would be happy to share my experiences further with an intention of creating
some sort of a protective protocol for those who would like to use the enhanced
experience Ecstasy can provide. I hope this is useful.
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